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As a homosexual man of British-Caribbean decent, I have struggled my entire life to satisfy the expectations of the black community, while still staying true to my gay self. Growing up I often questioned my sexuality; although I recognised and accepted my attraction to men, I knew from a young age, that there would come a time when my parents would discover I was gay, and that this would be a significant and extremely difficult moment in my life. What I knew of gay culture, growing up, came from homosexual characters featured in British television sitcoms. I had nothing in common with the gay men represented in mainstream media.

This month marks the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots , the event that arguably jumpstarted the modern LGBTQ movement. While rainbows are replacing corporation logos across the nation, Black folks like myself are attending rallies for the death of our trans sisters — most recently Layleen Polanco Xtranveganza , who was found dead in her jail cell in Rikers Island, and Zoe Spears , who was shot to death on June Unfortunately, this is nothing new for the Black queer community; the architects and elders of the movement have been all but erased. This white gay privilege exists year-round, but it is particularly frustrating during Pride. The architects and elders of the movement have been all but erased. Racism has always played a role in relationships between white and Black queer people. Just as the movement for LGBTQ rights has been whitewashed, so has Pride month often felt like a white, gay-centered event — far removed from the leaders of the Stonewall riots.

You mean well when it comes to race relations but, as a white man in Yes, people like what they like but sometimes the things people like are racist, like lawn jockeys or the current president of the United States. But what if Black and Asian men choose to only date other Black and Asian men? Look, all men are created equal but all men are not valued equally, especially in this country. Every Black and Asian man who grew up on this planet grew up surrounded by positive images of whiteness and white men.

Across the table from me was a South Korean guy who had watched videos of me eating KFC during his time serving for his home country's national military. He had told me that watching my videos made him happy and miss America. Now we were on a first date because I am a crazy narcissist. I asked him careful questions about his years in the service and his home country. He gave me polite answers and told me, a white boy from New York, that I should really make it over to Asia at some point.